


Better Man

by chinosarah



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-08 18:20:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17391311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chinosarah/pseuds/chinosarah
Summary: "I just wish you were a better man." A Roger Taylor/Reader songfic based off of Better Man by Little Big Town.





	Better Man

I know I’m probably better off on my own  
Than lovin' a man who didn’t know  
What he had when he had it  
And I see the permanent damage you did to me  
Never again, I just wish I could forget when it was magic  
I wish it wasn’t four am, standing in the mirror  
Saying to myself, you know you had to do it I know  
The bravest thing I ever did was run

It had been 2 years since you broke up with Roger Taylor. Life with him was frustrating, he was always away on some tour or recording some album. Even when he was home, it was like he was away, what with the way that he came home to your bed at 3 am if he came home at all and you pretended not to notice. You pretended not to smell the different perfumes on him every night. You pretended not to see the lipstick stains on his clothes and along his jaw. You pretended not to think about him with some strange woman, his hands tangled in her hair while she sat in his lap kissing him. You pretended not to think about when they would get up and he would lead her into the bathroom. You pretended not to think about what happened next. It wasn’t something in particular that he did that made you leave that night, you were just tired. Tired of the groupies, tired of the lies, tired of worrying about when he would find a pretty girl in some pub that he fancied more than you and you would be replaced. So, one night, you just had enough and finally worked up the nerve to leave. There was no fight, no dramatic blowout, just a note left on the kitchen counter for him to find when he finally stumbled home to your apartment, drunk with the smell of another girl on him as always.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again  
But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man  
And I know why we had to say goodbye  
Like the back of my hand  
And I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man  
A better man

You knew better than to miss him. He was a cheat, a womanizer, and yet time and time again you found yourself in the middle of night with your phone in your lap, receiver pressed between your shoulder and your ear, spinning the dial for each number of his phone number. You always hung up before you put in the last number. You missed him. You missed the way he was so quick to laugh, so effortlessly charming. You missed the way his eyes sparkled in the sunlight. You missed the way the morning light would reflect off of his hair when he was sleeping in your bed, making him look like an angel. You missed the way that he would kiss you, making you want him. You missed the sex, the way he’d call your name like a prayer when he was inside of you, the way your hand would tangle in his hair as you moved together to ecstasy. The way he made you feel like you never had with anyone else.

I know I’m probably better off all alone  
Than needing a man who could change his mind at any given minute  
And it’s always on your terms

You two were never on equal footing in this relationship. You were just a normal girl with a normal life and he was a superstar, the millionaire drummer in Queen, who could have anything and anyone he wanted. The instability of the relationship was a constant source of anxiety. You had nothing protecting you if he changed his mind about you. In a second you could be out with nothing if he decided he was bored with you. And he seemed oh so fascinated with other women.

I’m hanging on every careless word  
Hoping it might turn sweet again  
Like it was in the beginning

He always swore that he would never be bored of you. Particularly when he was drunk or high. You couldn’t count the number of times he had pulled you close, pupils dilated from the cocaine and swore the sweetest things to you while looking at you like you put all the stars in the sky. You missed those moments, you ached for them.

But your jealousy, I can hear it now  
You’re talking down to me like I’ll always be around

You rarely fought. But when any other man payed you any attention, he would become jealous and possessive and once or twice when he had too much to drink he said awful, horrible things to you. There was a part of you that tried to justify it even as the words twisted and dug into you. He’s drunk, he doesn’t mean it, he loves me, I know he loves me.

You push my love away like it’s some kind of loaded gun  
Boy, you never thought I’d run

“What are we?” you asked one time while twirling a lock of his pretty blonde hair around your finger, basking in the afterglow of your love-making.  
Roger turned to you and smiled his smile that just made you want to melt in his hands, “Why do we need a label, love? Can’t this just be enough, just the two of us?”  
“Do you love me, Roger?” you asked your eyes desperate for an answer. You loved him, so, so much.  
Roger smiled and laughed and tapped your nose gently, “You’re funny. Love’s so cliche, you know that I enjoy you, doll.”  
“Right.”

I hold onto this pride because these days it’s all I have  
And I gave you my best and we both know you can’t say that  
You can’t say that  
The first time you’d properly caught him with a groupie, you were determined that you were going to get your revenge. You had made your way down to a pub and were much too close to some man there. Everything about him was wrong as his hand was finding its way lower and lower on your body. His hair was brown, not blonde, his eyes were hazel, not blue, his voice was too deep, he was wrong, wrong, wrong and a pit formed in your stomach as he asked you if you want to leave here and go back to his place.  
“No, I’m-I’m sorry I can’t-I just can’t, I’m sorry that I led you on, it’s just-I can’t do this.”  
You stood up and walked out the pub as fast as you could, alone, wiping tears from your eyes. Even if Roger could do this, you couldn’t.

I wish you were a better man  
I wonder what we would’ve become  
If you were a better man  
We might still be in love  
If you were a better man  
You would’ve been the one  
If you were a better man

You found yourself staring up at the ceiling, imaging a life you could have had with Roger in another life, in another world. You see a little girl with Roger’s hair and your eyes. You see a baby boy with Roger’s smile and your ears. You see a beautiful house in the country with lots of trees and a beautiful garden. You hear songs written just for you, you see yourself in a gorgeous ivory gown, you taste your wedding cake. You put those thoughts aside, at least for tonight, turn on your side, and try to get some sleep. The thoughts will be back tomorrow, thoughts of a world and a life that cannot and will not be. Thoughts of a future that could have existed if Roger was a better man.


End file.
